I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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