she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I want her autograph on my taint
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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