i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
