Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
