there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
