So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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