If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
did i walk over a car last night?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
