if i can run in heels then i can drive
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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