I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize