i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
