Whod you bang
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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