and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
