Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
