12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
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