I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
