Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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