Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize