peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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