Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
two words: eviction party
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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