please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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