he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
