White coat. Heels.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize