btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
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me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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