You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
