Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
