if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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