Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
