and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
