K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
