The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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