i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
