as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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