If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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