Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
