Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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