Sry I called you an 8
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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