this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize