3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
