how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
