your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
