I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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