Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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