I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think I am morally bankrupt
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
