what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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