ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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