haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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