went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we should paint friendship bongs
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