Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is Oprah even human
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
