Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize