Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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