they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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