it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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