Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
