69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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