My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
