i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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