I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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