is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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