Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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