if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize