We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
