I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
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Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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