If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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