Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
