I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I see more hoeing in ur future
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
