is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
