Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
