i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
