True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
