Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
