and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
