You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
