As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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