She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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